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bipolar366Cycle: mixed state
Mood: depressed
Created: YA horror
Still sick, still depressed. Did manage to be mostly positive during interactions with people today. Had brunch with friends, and spent some time hanging out with Partner this evening. Last night, I took Nephew with me to go pick up dinner, and we had a really good conversation in the car. When we came home, he told Partner that we often have nice, deep talks at night when we go run errands. This is true, and it really filled me with warmth to hear him appreciate it. He's a good kid, and I love being an aunt. Getting to bond with my nieces and nephews is one of my favorite things, which works out well, because I have a ton of a siblings, and pretty much all of them either have or plan to have kids, plus Partner's sister has three of her own and her boyfriend has two little ones himself.
I try to hold on to these nice moments as best I can, because in the darker times, they're gone. Blogging about them helps. I tend to forget things if I don't write them down, and that doesn't only apply to my To Do list. Nephew and I talked about suicide a little last night, because of this song he played for me, and one of the things I said was that in the middle of suicidal thoughts, it's hard to remember all the good things that exist, too.
(We also talked about whether people have a true personality, and if they do, whether it matters, because simply by being there to observe it, a second person may change things about that personality. He's a good, smart teenager, and I'm so glad I get to see him so often.
Mood: depressed
Created: YA horror
Still sick, still depressed. Did manage to be mostly positive during interactions with people today. Had brunch with friends, and spent some time hanging out with Partner this evening. Last night, I took Nephew with me to go pick up dinner, and we had a really good conversation in the car. When we came home, he told Partner that we often have nice, deep talks at night when we go run errands. This is true, and it really filled me with warmth to hear him appreciate it. He's a good kid, and I love being an aunt. Getting to bond with my nieces and nephews is one of my favorite things, which works out well, because I have a ton of a siblings, and pretty much all of them either have or plan to have kids, plus Partner's sister has three of her own and her boyfriend has two little ones himself.
I try to hold on to these nice moments as best I can, because in the darker times, they're gone. Blogging about them helps. I tend to forget things if I don't write them down, and that doesn't only apply to my To Do list. Nephew and I talked about suicide a little last night, because of this song he played for me, and one of the things I said was that in the middle of suicidal thoughts, it's hard to remember all the good things that exist, too.
(We also talked about whether people have a true personality, and if they do, whether it matters, because simply by being there to observe it, a second person may change things about that personality. He's a good, smart teenager, and I'm so glad I get to see him so often.
