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bipolar366Cycle: mixed state
Mood: trying to crash, fighting it
Created: pottery, YA supernatural adventure
Losing the fight against the crash tonight. Am trying hard to be supportive and friendly, but am so bitter, and falling into a depressive cycle is not helping. Person I know walked out of their last job, but is getting job offers only a few months later, and I have been struggling for more than a year. I am bitter, and I hate it. I am tired and worn out.
In the pottery studio today, glazing pieces Pottery Teacher made. Gotta earn my studio time somehow. Plus I like brush glazing. It can be very precise, and that is the part I got to do today. Tomorrow, I'll be back at the wheel.
Went to a funeral, even though it meant dealing with a bunch of strangers, because the family are people I care about, and it meant a lot to me when they came to my mother's funeral. It was good to catch up with people, even at such a sad time, but also hard. I am not the success I wanted to become when I left here, and now I am back, a broken, sick failure. That's always fun.
Came home and wrote with BFF. We managed one chapter, less than 2,000 words, and it was hard work. Frustrating. Also frustrating is that BFF talked about wanting to write more often because she's impatient and wants to be done with this story, but she certainly didn't give a fuck about the timing when she wanted to take last year off. And that's not fair to her.
I've become such a bitter person. I should probably spend the rest of the night alone, because I am not fit company. At least I was able to take myself away before I got sharp with anyone.
Mood: trying to crash, fighting it
Created: pottery, YA supernatural adventure
Losing the fight against the crash tonight. Am trying hard to be supportive and friendly, but am so bitter, and falling into a depressive cycle is not helping. Person I know walked out of their last job, but is getting job offers only a few months later, and I have been struggling for more than a year. I am bitter, and I hate it. I am tired and worn out.
In the pottery studio today, glazing pieces Pottery Teacher made. Gotta earn my studio time somehow. Plus I like brush glazing. It can be very precise, and that is the part I got to do today. Tomorrow, I'll be back at the wheel.
Went to a funeral, even though it meant dealing with a bunch of strangers, because the family are people I care about, and it meant a lot to me when they came to my mother's funeral. It was good to catch up with people, even at such a sad time, but also hard. I am not the success I wanted to become when I left here, and now I am back, a broken, sick failure. That's always fun.
Came home and wrote with BFF. We managed one chapter, less than 2,000 words, and it was hard work. Frustrating. Also frustrating is that BFF talked about wanting to write more often because she's impatient and wants to be done with this story, but she certainly didn't give a fuck about the timing when she wanted to take last year off. And that's not fair to her.
I've become such a bitter person. I should probably spend the rest of the night alone, because I am not fit company. At least I was able to take myself away before I got sharp with anyone.
