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bipolar366Cycle: depression
Mood: depressed
Created: casual blogging
Still depressed. I am so tired of saying that, but then, I am tired of feeling it, too, so I guess it works. Grumpy and antisocial. Ran an errand with my dad anyway, though, and tried to enjoy spending time with him. No, that's not worded correctly. I love spending time with him; I was trying to not let the depression suck all the joy out of something I love. After I came home, I opened the big sliding glass door in my office and enjoyed the sun and fresh air (and the way the dog loves running in and out of the house). It is February in the midwest, and the weather was warm enough during the day to have the door open. I tried to experience and appreciate the joy in that, too, as well as in having the time to watch a bunch of X-Files episodes. (I'm on season three; I've never watched it before.) I feel like a failure at everything, at life, but I am trying to appreciate the things I can do. Yes, but for Partner I would be homeless and probably dead already, but Partner is gracious and says I am not a burden. The dog and I have a place to live and food and a great spot to cuddle while we enjoy the sun and entertaining television. Things are bad, but they could be so, so much worse.
Still depressed, though. Still suicidal. Still tired. Oh, so tired.
Mood: depressed
Created: casual blogging
Still depressed. I am so tired of saying that, but then, I am tired of feeling it, too, so I guess it works. Grumpy and antisocial. Ran an errand with my dad anyway, though, and tried to enjoy spending time with him. No, that's not worded correctly. I love spending time with him; I was trying to not let the depression suck all the joy out of something I love. After I came home, I opened the big sliding glass door in my office and enjoyed the sun and fresh air (and the way the dog loves running in and out of the house). It is February in the midwest, and the weather was warm enough during the day to have the door open. I tried to experience and appreciate the joy in that, too, as well as in having the time to watch a bunch of X-Files episodes. (I'm on season three; I've never watched it before.) I feel like a failure at everything, at life, but I am trying to appreciate the things I can do. Yes, but for Partner I would be homeless and probably dead already, but Partner is gracious and says I am not a burden. The dog and I have a place to live and food and a great spot to cuddle while we enjoy the sun and entertaining television. Things are bad, but they could be so, so much worse.
Still depressed, though. Still suicidal. Still tired. Oh, so tired.
