Day 36 and Day 37
Feb. 6th, 2016 08:30 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
bipolar366Day 36
Cycle: mixed state
Mood: depressed
Created: YA horror
No update in part because I am still sick and still depressed, so everything is so much harder than it has to be, and in part because I started reading AFTERWORLDS by Scott Westerfeld, and ended up completely distracted by it. Finished today, and it is fantastic and wonderful, an absolute delight to read.
Day 37
Cycle: mixed state
Mood: depressed
Created: nada
But I am depressed, and I am sick (mostly, it is just a cold that has my sinuses all messed up, but I have this nasty cough that won't go away, makes my chest and throat hurt, and keeps both Partner and me awake half the night), and I'm finding it very hard to cling to the positives that happen. I know I'm dragging Partner down into a morass of terrible, and I am trying to avoid doing that, but it is hard to be positive at all. I keep trying, and I keep failing, and Partner shouldn't have to fight so hard to stay positive while I infect everything with my negativity. I'm spending a great deal of time by myself to avoid infecting other people (literally and metaphorically, at the moment), which is fine, because I am an introvert and generally enjoy the hell out of spending time alone, but I want to be less negative and less bitter, and I can't find my way out of it.
The dog is loving all this time curled up next to me in the studio, though. (When I first got her, from a rescue shelter, I promptly went out and bought a giant new couch so she could lie down right next to me when I worked. Rescuing her was the best thing I ever did, but buying this couch was a close second. It has seen a lot of doggy cuddle time, creativity, and bipolar madness, and held us through it all. Shortly after, I also bought a different car, so doggy would be more comfortable on our road trips. It, too, has seen a lot of mess since then.)
Cycle: mixed state
Mood: depressed
Created: YA horror
No update in part because I am still sick and still depressed, so everything is so much harder than it has to be, and in part because I started reading AFTERWORLDS by Scott Westerfeld, and ended up completely distracted by it. Finished today, and it is fantastic and wonderful, an absolute delight to read.
Day 37
Cycle: mixed state
Mood: depressed
Created: nada
But I am depressed, and I am sick (mostly, it is just a cold that has my sinuses all messed up, but I have this nasty cough that won't go away, makes my chest and throat hurt, and keeps both Partner and me awake half the night), and I'm finding it very hard to cling to the positives that happen. I know I'm dragging Partner down into a morass of terrible, and I am trying to avoid doing that, but it is hard to be positive at all. I keep trying, and I keep failing, and Partner shouldn't have to fight so hard to stay positive while I infect everything with my negativity. I'm spending a great deal of time by myself to avoid infecting other people (literally and metaphorically, at the moment), which is fine, because I am an introvert and generally enjoy the hell out of spending time alone, but I want to be less negative and less bitter, and I can't find my way out of it.
The dog is loving all this time curled up next to me in the studio, though. (When I first got her, from a rescue shelter, I promptly went out and bought a giant new couch so she could lie down right next to me when I worked. Rescuing her was the best thing I ever did, but buying this couch was a close second. It has seen a lot of doggy cuddle time, creativity, and bipolar madness, and held us through it all. Shortly after, I also bought a different car, so doggy would be more comfortable on our road trips. It, too, has seen a lot of mess since then.)
