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bipolar366Cycle: mixed state
Mood: exhausted
Created: paranormal romance, pottery
Did not sleep well last night. Struggled today. Lots of problems popping up at work with no easy solutions; I hate having projects linger without making progress, but that's part of the job at this point. Still, it left me uneasy, and that, coupled with my exhaustion, led to a terrible session in the pottery studio. Nothing came off the wheel without breaking, and I was incredibly frustrated at myself for failing. And then I felt bad because my teacher felt bad because I felt bad -- what a mess. I didn't have enough strength left to ease her through it. It's okay for me to feel bad sometimes. It happens.
A friend of mine is struggling with loneliness and depression right now, and I am worried. They don't want to pursue treatment for the depression; their theory is that if they fix the areas in life that have gone wrong (particularly romance), the depression will go away. Plus they're tired of fighting and trying to make things better. I understand that feeling so well, but I wish they would even consider treatment. I know loneliness is terrible and can hurt, and they've been through a lot of shit over the past few years, more than anyone should have to deal with, but treatment would help, even if just for the short term. I don't know why they're so against it. I listen, but I don't understand.
And I am scared for them.
Mood: exhausted
Created: paranormal romance, pottery
Did not sleep well last night. Struggled today. Lots of problems popping up at work with no easy solutions; I hate having projects linger without making progress, but that's part of the job at this point. Still, it left me uneasy, and that, coupled with my exhaustion, led to a terrible session in the pottery studio. Nothing came off the wheel without breaking, and I was incredibly frustrated at myself for failing. And then I felt bad because my teacher felt bad because I felt bad -- what a mess. I didn't have enough strength left to ease her through it. It's okay for me to feel bad sometimes. It happens.
A friend of mine is struggling with loneliness and depression right now, and I am worried. They don't want to pursue treatment for the depression; their theory is that if they fix the areas in life that have gone wrong (particularly romance), the depression will go away. Plus they're tired of fighting and trying to make things better. I understand that feeling so well, but I wish they would even consider treatment. I know loneliness is terrible and can hurt, and they've been through a lot of shit over the past few years, more than anyone should have to deal with, but treatment would help, even if just for the short term. I don't know why they're so against it. I listen, but I don't understand.
And I am scared for them.
