bipolar366 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
bipolar366) wrote2016-03-04 10:41 pm
bipolar366) wrote2016-03-04 10:41 pm
Entry tags:
Day 64
Cycle: depression
Mood: depressed
Created: pottery
Sister came with me to the pottery studio today. She got on well with my teacher, and seemed to enjoy watching my teacher throw new pieces while I trimmed a couple of my older pieces, and then glazed the oldest piece I have there. (It's probably a month or so old at this point; I keep forgetting it exists.)
Then we all met up some other friends, including Partner, for a trivia night to support math and science scholarships at a local school. It was a lot of fun, even though we didn't win. (I am terribly competitive, and dislike losing A LOT.) But even as I was having fun, I couldn't stop thinking about all the ways I fail. Depression is kicking my ass, and I hate it.
I am super bitter, too, and I hate that even more. Sister has managed to find new work, and I've been job hunting for fucking years now, and I have nothing to show for it. Everyone around me is either getting new jobs or promotions, and even if they aren't working in the careers of their dreams (and some of them are), they are at least supporting themselves and not being a burden on their families.
Fuck. I am so tired of being a failure.
Mood: depressed
Created: pottery
Sister came with me to the pottery studio today. She got on well with my teacher, and seemed to enjoy watching my teacher throw new pieces while I trimmed a couple of my older pieces, and then glazed the oldest piece I have there. (It's probably a month or so old at this point; I keep forgetting it exists.)
Then we all met up some other friends, including Partner, for a trivia night to support math and science scholarships at a local school. It was a lot of fun, even though we didn't win. (I am terribly competitive, and dislike losing A LOT.) But even as I was having fun, I couldn't stop thinking about all the ways I fail. Depression is kicking my ass, and I hate it.
I am super bitter, too, and I hate that even more. Sister has managed to find new work, and I've been job hunting for fucking years now, and I have nothing to show for it. Everyone around me is either getting new jobs or promotions, and even if they aren't working in the careers of their dreams (and some of them are), they are at least supporting themselves and not being a burden on their families.
Fuck. I am so tired of being a failure.